Grieving.comis one of the oldest, if not the oldest, grief support community on the internet. What about Christians who cant afford non-cremation options? Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. Its an endless cycle. Copyright 2023 The Gospel Coalition, INC. All Rights Reserved. Loss generates the ultimate question for the mind to grapple with: Why did this happen, and why do I feel so much pain? And it will seek a solution to the question, even when the solution makes no logical sense. I much preferred the service. What Is Holistic Rehab Therapy for Women? Please make sure all fields are filled out. 2. 2- . She said she was afraid to be cremated because she doesnt want to feel the burning pain. I was sort of surprised she would even think that was possible. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? Trapped in your now lifeless shell? Having it makes me feel lost, empty and as if I have a hole in my chest. I agree that the whole process was weird. My Dad passed away nearly 6 months ago .. I think it was an unconscious solidarity in your case. Only if they arent actually dead. Cremation casket. My mom passed away 11 years ago.. since I was only 9 years old I wasn't able to fight to get her ashes. It gives the living time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to let go. Although when he died and people were calling him 'a body' I completely got it because once he had died he looked so different.. The focus is to provide grief support via community interaction.. I as per my usual self attempted to lighten the somber mood with a witty joke by saying that all the bodies I burn are dead, unlike the bodies of the heretics that the Church burned back in the day. On the other hand, decomposition, while not pretty, is a biological process, and the natural way of I just hope there's an afterlife of some sorts! The point is that cremation is not pleasantit is a loud, violent, repulsive and artificial process. Islam too believes that cremation is wrong, but for different reasons and with a much higher level of no-no. And yet feeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief. If it were my choice, I wouldn't have had her cremated ( I had no say since I'm only 14; and it really isn't my decision) since I hate the fact that her body isn't with us at all. Here are some of the more common issues that cause people to skip the funeral, even that of a family member or good friend: They arent prepared emotionally to say goodbye to the person whos passed The idea of seeing a dead body, or even stepping foot in a funeral home, gives them the creeps They dont want to run into someone theyd rather avoid. Also, my dad and siblings and I had keepsake charm urns made. Islam too believes that cremation is wrong, but for different reasons and with a much higher level of no-no. Guilt is a normal response to the perception that weve somehow failed in our duties and obligations or that weve done something wrong. For example: I reject the guilt Understanding Heat Pumps When it Comes to Your Home Improvements, Your Guide to the Mental Health Benefits of Clean Home Environments. [Reviewed and updated December 28, 2022.] Enter your email address to subscribe and get a cute lovely notification of new posts by email. Rather, for believers, funerals ought to be Christ-centered events, testifying throughout to the message and hope of the gospel. Before choosing cremation because of cost, Christians should consider more affordable burial options. This pastor, though, didnt find a sympathizer in me. I also found the service so much better. If you are dealing with feelings of guilt, remember that, while its a normal reaction to feel this way, your feelings may not be accurate. Again, this is a complex dynamic of grief. I am sorry you had family upset during such a difficult time. Learn More At Agape Pet Services, well guide you through the process, cremate your pet and return the cremains in a dignified and attractive package. If youve recently lost a loved one, cremation urns are a way to keep their memory alive. I feelI dont know, but I feelthat you opted for cremation in some kind of unfathomable solidarity with those of us whose bodies were cremated in Auschwitz. Eastern Orthodoxy believes that cremation is wrong for the same reason Jewish law forbids it. It is the soul that goes to our Father in Heaven. (Leviticus 20:14 and Leviticus 20:14 indirectly mention cremation, since they involve capital punishment that requires the offender to be burned with fire.). To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Cor. Grief and The Burden of Guilt. The fact was that given so many of our moves over the years, some of which were almost unpredictable, we had no reason to think that there would be no more ever again--even though we plan to remain here for the long haul. This results in both confirmation and negativity biases. Regardless of the cause of death, or the state of your relationship at the time of their death, you can easily become overwhelmed with survivors guilt, knowing that you were spared while they were not. Having said this, He breathed His last. When you feel youve done something wrong, its hard to find peace until youve made things right again. , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , - 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 1000, 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 48 , 0096176817976- , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , - 0096176817976 . As Rodney J. Decker says, It was probably considered more honorable to cremate the royal retinue than attempt to haul the mutilated, stinking bodies elsewhere for the usual Jewish burial ceremonies.. The heart of this prohibition against cremation is that humans are created in the image of G-d and so we shouldnt intentionally harm the body, dead or alive. I love pastors because Ive seen how much good they do during death and dying. My mom was a very low-key, not a "LOOK AT ME!!!" The reality of the human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones. Another interesting aspect of the grieving process is whats known as survivors guilt. Memory is another aspect of the human experience where the mind is involved in the grieving process. $1,310. Of course God can resurrect a cremated Christian. I heard of a survivor who had intended to make such a posthumous gesture. Mindfulness and meditation can have a huge impact on the grieving process, especially when it comes to guilt associated with loss. It's just an awful thought. To a certain extent, they can make a strong case for their contention. http://www.insight.org/resources/articles/death/awake-beyond-the-grave-what.html?l=death#sthash.BiEnXTia.dpuf. My Dad passed away 11 weeks ago and we decided to get him cremated.. The view that cremation is wrong isnt uncommon among pastors. Christians, like my pastor friend, are a mixed bag when it comes to cremation. If your belief system sees a connection between your loved ones existence as one of the living, and their transition into the Afterlife, with the r 31:11-13), The Philistines had cut off Sauls head (v. 9), and the bodies were likely mutilated and decaying by the time the men of Israel retrieved the remains. Guilt can be defined as a self-conscious emotion characterized by an assessment of having done (or thought) something that is wrong. I'm sure she's very proud of you. The deceased feel NO pain. It hurts the observer to watch the cremation, if they are offered a chance to do so. I would NEVER select cremation as a One of the pros is that cremation is far cheaper than the traditional burial. Why Feeling Guilty Is Normal When Experiencing Grief. Thus the brain clings to pain rather than choosing feelings of joy. And this, my friends, is the bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not tear us apart. There are also some in a very tiny urn on my vanity. Many people are hesitant to cremate a loved ones body. I didn't really want him to be cremated, but I wanted to honor his wishes seeing as I did do things that he didn't want. Keep reading for insight into coping with guilt when healing from a sudden loss. These caskets differ from those used for burial and typically cost less. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. It was so hard for me to believe it was happening, but I never want to have to walk a slow dirge out of a church behind a casket. Opposing Gay Marriage May Seem like a Lost Cause. The National Funeral Directors Association expects the trend shifting from burial toward cremation to continue over the next 20 years, with the projected rate of cremation reaching 78.8 percent of deaths by 2035. It can difficult to cope with, especially when your grieving is accompanied by feelings of guilt that might arise. Is cremation a sin, or is it an ethical option for Christians? Healing from loss isnt easy. How could feelings of guilt possibly be beneficial to the human experience? The body is cremated immediately after death. You will engage the services of a crematory, bypassing the expense of a funeral home. The body can be cremated in a simple cardboard container. No memorial service is held. No embalming or other preparations of the body are necessary because there is no service, viewing, or wake. A common reason why Christians choose cremation is to avoid the expense related to funeral service andburial. These cremains are placed in a plastic bag within an urn or a temporary cremation container and returned to the deceaseds family. This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss. How are you feeling about the cremation? Costs vary quite a bit depending on the size and material quality. (Jones has also written a more extensive articleTo Bury or Burn? Never underestimate the power of the mind. And yet its crucial to remember thatfeeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief. You might feel guilty for the harm you caused but the fact that you cannot find them, speak to them, and make up for the pain, leaves that feeling of guilt unresolved. 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